Flirting is a vital aspect of the dating process, but not everyone enjoys it. Many singles blame a lack of flirting abilities for their inability to find a companion. So, what constitutes bad flirting, and what should people avoid if they wish to enhance their flirting abilities?
The study’s researchers, Menelaos Apostolou and Chrysovalanthes Eleftheriou, attempted to address these difficulties by asking participants which flirting behaviours they deemed the least appealing.
Good and bad flirting, quantified.
The researchers surveyed 212 Greek-speaking men and women to find out what flirting turnoffs they have. They were required to imagine being approached by a romantically interested person and identify the behaviours and qualities that would prompt them to rule out the prospect. Two researchers independently assessed the open-ended responses and came up with a list of 69 factors that were categorised as flirting turn-offs (e.g., narcissism, lack of humor, badly dressed).
A second sample of 734 Greek-speaking people was given this list of 69 items in order to categorise these deal-breakers into a smaller number of broader groups. Participants were asked to act as if they were being flirted with and rate how much each of the following would turn them off during this session.
What were the main flirting dealbreakers?
The study’s authors then reduced the 69 traits to just 11 components, which they then presented to the participants using the principle components analysis statistical technique. The top three criteria were poor hygiene (rotting teeth, foul odour), a lack of exclusive attention (looking bored, glancing at other men/women), and a slimy attitude (making disparaging comments about one’s appearance, being disagreeable). A vulgar vocabulary, terrible appearances, excessive intimacy, a lack of intelligence, narcissism, a lack of humour and low self-esteem, miserliness, and harbouring conflicting religious ideas were among the final eight deal-breakers.
Gender differences were observed, which was unusual. In nearly all of the eleven categories, women outperformed men, demonstrating that they are more sensitive to deal-breakers in general. On a range of appearance-related criteria, men outscored women, including “unattractive body” and “poorly dressed.” As a result of increased parental engagement in childrearing, women may have evolved to be more selective in their mate choices.
There were significant disparities in replies based on age, with older respondents finding dealbreakers to be more off-putting than younger respondents. This conclusion could be attributed to people’s tendency to extend their dating criteria as they become more aware of their relationship preferences and increasingly interested in long-term relationships.
Doctors who desire to help their patients improve their flirting skills may find Apostolou and Eleftheriou’s findings useful. People who refine their approach, avoid making sexist or unpleasant comments, avoid touching or being too intimate, and avoid flirting with multiple people can become more effective flirting initiators, according to the researchers. Personal hygiene and language enhancement are two more strategies to boost flirting abilities, according to the study.
The findings may not be applicable outside of Greece and Cyprus because the study sample exclusively comprised inhabitants of these two countries. Further research is however needed to thoroughly define what constitutes inappropriate flirtation. It may be feasible to get insight into how cultural background and sexual orientation influence flirting dealbreakers by using more samples in follow-up studies.
According to research, many people (maybe one in every two) have trouble flirting, Apostolou said. People who are more educated about flirting’s dealbreakers will do better in this area.
Story Source: Original release written by Beth Ellwood at PsyPost. Note: Content may be edited for style and length by Scible News.
Reference
Apostolou, M., & Eleftheriou, C. (2022). What constitutes bad flirting: An explorative study of dealbreakers. Personality and Individual Differences, 194, 111665. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2022.111665
